Hi! I'm Mariam, mom of one, certified Master level Jungian Life Coach, perinatal practitioner, yoga teacher and devoted student of the mind . I am also a very keen traveller and surfer. In 2021, after 12 + years in the not for profit and parliamentary sectors, I finally took the plunge and launched my own well-being and coaching practice, Holistically Me! I live in South London, UK with my partner and our daughter.
Getting to where I am today was not necessarily easy but I also believe it didn't need to be that hard, I just wasn't equipped with the right knowledge, tools, mindset, understanding about love, and relationship to my Self. I was always labeled a highly sensitive child growing up, and I spent most of the first half of my life building a very healthy outgoing, independent and confident personality. This served me good. Until it didn't!
Six months into a year-long career break, I had a big breakdown, prompted by a discussion with a complete stranger, followed by a panic attack at a sacred Mayan site in Mexico on the summer equinox. This was the start of a period of great emotional disturbance for me that lasted almost two years. It also coincided with me meeting a steady, loving and available partner. And I don't think this was a coincidence! On some level, my psyche was ready to open up and this new adventure was the catalyst for transformation. But it took me a while to understand that! For the first time in my life, I was really struggling, I couldn’t identify with my thoughts and whom I thought I was.
I spoke to medical professionals who didn’t really have any answers for me. At best, they made me feel misunderstood, at worst, they left me feeling stigmatised and alone in my search for understanding my own suffering. I only started making sense of what was happening to me when I discovered Jungian psychology. In Jungian Psychology all triggers are opportunities to grow closer to your wholeness, they are not a sign of brokenness. It was first a psychotherapist, then a Life Coach who helped me navigate this tumultuous time.
Although this experience, and the level of anxiety, uncertainty and worry I felt was distressing, it was also the catalyst for me transforming into a more rounded. resilient and in tune person, and design a life that reflects that. I was able to make space for all aspects of myself that wanted to come through, the Mother, the Lover, the Professional. I became less attached to the results I was getting in life. I started noticing my inner conflicts have less grip over me, it all started to feel more in flow.
Relationship anxiety, fear of commitment, inner conflicts are all wonderful gateways to building more connection with yourself, with your partner and those around you. As long as you approach the work with a mindset of curiosity and compassion. This work is not easy work, but when you have the right kind of support, you can start creating the life you really want as opposed to reacting to life.
It is much more than my relationship that benefited from this inner work, it is my entire existence. Three or fours years into the work, everything clicked! I noticed how I had lived my life motivated by outcomes, avoiding pain, and moving away from fear. For instance, I had been practising yoga for over 12 years by then, but realised my intent and motivation was conditional to the outcomes the practice was providing me (when it didn't help with my anxiety, I saw it as a sign that I was even more broken that I thought! Mad, right?).
For the first time in my life, I realised I had a choice, a choice to practise yoga, and more generally live my life motivated by outcomes, or choose to move through the journey that life is free of expectations, free of my past experiences, and free of my own conditioning. All of the yoga and Eastern philosophy I'd been trained in and practised daily just took a completely different dimension. It became a way of life. I became 'Holistically Me'. At that point, I saw my life started to completely take a new turn, and for the very best. I started creating a life that felt aligned to me, to my needs, to help me fulfil my purpose.
So really this is why I am here today, if you are finding yourself held back by worries, fears and anxieties over the next stage of your relationship, I want to tell you, you are not alone. I am here to help you find your way to your own wisdom so you can uncover your internal barriers to connection and intimacy and move forward with your life with confidence and clarity. And guess what, the journey may have a few other pleasant surprises in store for you!