Let me share a secret with you
Relationships challenge us in so many ways. When we think about relationship challenges, we usually think about conflict, compromise or difficulties cultivating connection.
One relationship challenge we don't often talk which can contribute to it feeling taboo is how anxiety can show up in relationships that are other an otherwise safe, healthy and loving relationship. And that can happen at any stage, during the dating phase, after the 'honeymoon' phase is over, right after a marriage proposal or even years into a marriage. Relationship anxiety can look or sound like:
waking up in the middle of the night wondering if we've made a mistake
asking ourselves questions starting with what ifs: what if I don't love my partner enough? what if this is not meant to be? what if I am just settling? What if I am not attracted enough?
after saying yes to a marriage proposal, telling ourselves, if it was right, I wouldn't feel so anxious
If you're dealing with relationship anxiety right now, know that you are not alone. While things might seem really challenging right now, it doesn't have to be this way. The tricky thing about anxiety is that we want to push it away or ignore it. But if left unattended, and ignored, the anxiety can quickly get out of control, leading us to walk out or sabotage a perfectly healthy and loving relationship, only to end up in the same place further down the line with a different partner. It can also rob us from the joy of being with our partner and create happiness, fulfilment and connection.
But there is another way. One that involves getting curious about what lies beneath the anxiety. Relationships mirror internal dynamics that are at play within us. When we feel anxious about an aspect of our relationship, or feel anxious with a safe and steady partner, it is usually a reflection of what's going on inside. Those dynamics have probably been at play for a very long time, and what better place than the most intimate form of relationship to start challenging the status quo?
Only by uncovering the stories, past experiences and conditioning that are playing out in our interaction with our partner can we really uncover who we truly are. This way we can start experience self acceptance, self trust and consciously choose how we show up in our relationship, who and how we love.
So if instead of shaming yourself or trying to push away the anxiety at all cost, including pushing away your loving, well-matched partner, you are ready to become curious about what's going on for you that is being reflected through your relationship anxiety, waste no more time! I am the living proof that anxiety, relationship anxiety has the potential to be your greatest teacher.
Is this you?
Everyone tells you how great things look from the outside, but inside it's a completely different story. You struggle with anxiety, worries about your partner, or relationship, and it's robbing you from the joy and happiness of your relationship.
You've finally got the relationship you wanted for so long, but now you are questioning everything and wondering whether it should really be this hard.
You're not ready to give up maybe on your partner, your relationship, love or even yourself! Something inside you is telling you that it's time to courageously explore what's going on so you can feel like yourself again, only even happier and more fulfilled than before.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”
Carl G. Jung
Hi, I'm Mariam
Certified Master Jungian Life Coach & Relationship Anxiety Specialist informed by the Jungian tradition. I help you uncover the defenses, stories and inner dynamics at play in your interaction with your partner that are causing you to feel anxious, disconnected and stuck. Together we will work from the inside out to help you feel grounded, happy & fulfilled within and in your relationship.
My interest in relationships, anxiety and Jungian psychology is not a random. I myself struggled for years with anxiety, but it was not until it hit me full-blown nine months into my idyllic relationship that I started to get curious about it. At last I had found a reliable, loving and caring partner and yet I was plagued with anxiety and fears. It was agonising.
It was not until I became familiar with Carl Jung's work, the father of analytical psychology that I was able to make sense of what was going on and how to constructively work with my anxiety to help me get to know myself better, uncover some of the defences and stories I held about love and relationships that were no longer serving me.
My approach is unique. I am informed by the Jungian tradition, but I work in a coaching framework, not a therapeutic one. This means while in essence the work we do together may be therapeutic, it creates foundation for change and transformation. Working together you can expect some huge insights, shifts and changes in your life within the space of 4-6 months.
I have put years of training, qualifications, coaching, therapy and inner work to help you uncover the hidden gifts of your relationship anxiety. Using tools such as Shadow work, emotional work, active imagination & dream we will uncover the defenses, dynamics and stories at play within you that are no longer serving you. we will work inside out to help you find joy, connection, grounding within and in your relationship.
" Mariam has many qualities as a coach. If I was to pick one that sticks in my mind, it was how incredibly quickly I felt she really understood where I was coming from, as well as where I wanted to go. I remember thinking in our second session: wow this person really understands me and my situation to a greater depth than a psychotherapist ever did, after seeing him for over 15 hours of therapy."
Tim W, UK.