There was a time when I used to live for the weekend.
There was a time when I used to think that finding my match would make me feel complete and at peace.
It’s like I was working hard to get to that stage where I wouldn’t need to work so hard at life anymore.
I didn’t necessarily realise it at the time but I was constantly in a fight or fright mode, wanting to often push through, and prove myself through work and through doing.
And I was feeling exhausted most of the time.
Even if at the time I had a strong and regular yoga and meditation practice, in hindsight, I was using yoga and meditation as a means to make my life more ‘productive’.
I remember distinctly the moment when I realised my lifestyle and mindset were not sustainable. It was about seven years ago.
I had taken two months off work because I desperately needed it for fear of burning out.
I headed to South Asia. I was lying down on my hotel bed in Southern Sri Lanka. And it hit me, I couldn’t remember the last time I had done nothing, not actively thinking not meditating, not working, not reading, not watching something. Just nothing. At this moment I knew I couldn’t keep going the way I had operated for most of my adult life.
I realised for the first time despite what others said, or perceived, that I wasn’t thriving, I was just surviving quite frankly. I was driven by a thirst for ‘doing’ rather than ‘just being’. It was a form of survival mechanism because the more I did and achieved, the worthier I felt.
Only when we slow down enough can we really get in touch with the parts of ourselves that want to come through but that we so often judge, consciously or unconsciously. For me it was the fear of being judged as lazy, lacking ambition, a failure that was preventing me from just enjoying slowing down. It also pushed me to a near burnout.
So if you feel you are missing something, purpose, drive, creativity, or connection whether that’s in your romantic, personal, or work life, the first thing to do is to slow down.
Then ask yourself: how do you make space and give yourself permission to get in touch with all parts of yourself, the productive, the lazy, the social butterfly, the lone wolf. Because they all live inside of us, but we often either don’t realise they belong to us or don’t know how to access them.
That insight really was the first step into my inner journey and transformation.
But insight alone is not enough, only through action are we able to change, transform and thrive.
When you give yourself permission to do nothing, you gain insight into what's missing in your life, or what you need more of. From this place you can tap into your real desires and then take action that’s aligned with those desires.
When you make a commitment to yourself to slow down, you are able to:
Tap into your desires and dreams
Shape a life that honours them
Make decisions from a place of deep knowing and trusting
Use your energy to create instead of constantly holding back
Allow your creativity and imagination to flow
Enjoy more harmonious, peaceful, and fulfilling relationships
If you are ready to make your inner world a priority in 2023 but struggle to make it happen for lack of time, resources, support or guidance, I’d love to hear from you. I am building my new community following the conclusion of my Sunday Sanctuary. This community will enable you to access weekly meditations, visualisations, talks and regular group coaching sessions to accompany you through your inner journey.