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You can’t just talk the talk, you got to walk the walk of inner work


It’s been a busy past few weeks, and months if I am honest. And it is so easy to get sucked into the busyness of life. So here I was, putting aside my own inner work to try to do more. More work with clients, students and colleagues, and to meet up with more people. Simply to try to fit in more in the day. And it got the better of me.


As someone with an anxious pre-disposition, who is also a qualified Jungian life coach, and perinatal practitioner, and a dedicated student of the mind committed to her own growth, I would have expected to know better.


But I forgot. And here is what I was reminded of through a spike in my own anxiety: Everything you know has no value if you don’t integrate it into your day to day life. You can’t just talk the talk, you got to consistently walk the walk.


No amount of studying, coaching or talking therapy will make a difference to your well-being and sense of wholeness if you are not willing to prioritise your relationship to yourself and to doing your inner work.


Too often the temptation is to think that because you do the work ‘intellectually’ then everything should be fine. So, this may look like, reading a book about overcoming your relationship anxiety. Or signing up for a course. Or because you spend the money on coaching or therapy that it should do the job. That you should stop feeling anxious, or depressed.


This is obviously not the case, but like so many of us. I fell into that trap of thinking maybe I could stop prioritising myself and magically everything would still be fine.


So when my anxiety reared its head again, on the eve of my wedding day, I knew there was another layer of growth ready for me to reach.


Because of all the previous inner work I have done, and my ability to tap into my own inner resources, I was able to recognise on the spot what was needed, tune into my body, and make space for what was going on without judgment. I was also clear about how I needed to continue to prioritise my work in order to feel balanced, grounded and feel whole. But this is not something I did overnight, it took me a few years to get to that stage. I had to find find practices that resonated most with me.


There is not a single way to do the inner work, but here are some of the areas I see as essential when embarking on this inner discovery:


  • Taking responsibility for your feelings – so that instead of seeking the ‘good’ and pushing away the ‘uncomfortable’ feelings, learning to take time to slow down, and embrace all the wide range emotions that comes with being human


  • Developing a mindset of curiosity and compassion instead of judgment and shame, to enable you to welcome all of those emotions and feelings without ‘reacting’ to them

  • Pulling back your projections – we don’t individuate (the term used by Carl Jung to describe the process of us being who we truly are beyond labels and conditioning) in a vacuum but in relationships to others. So when you are triggered by someone else or a situation, it is essential to start learning how to work with triggers. That way you can start getting curious about what it’s pointing to within you that needs addressing.


  • Honouring your anger in healthy manner – most of us have been conditioned to repress our anger. When you feel empowered to move towards it instead of fearing it, or indulging in it, you are free to release that stuck energy in a healthy manner instead of lashing out, or trying to contain it at all costs.


  • Slowing down and reconnecting to yourself – how can you expect to connect to another human being, be it your partner, children, and wider world if you are not able to feel the deep connection to your self first and foremost? It would be like expecting a car to run on empty.

  • Spending time in nature – there is no greater gift than the gift of connecting with mother nature in my opinion. Nature has a way to show you how to return to your self and hold you safely.


So while the anxiety hit me full blown in that single moment, I was reminded of the wisdom of my body, my mind and my anxiety. It’s like there was a blueprint in me from having done this work for the last few years that I just needed to call upon. The process didn't take just a few hours, but it certainly didn't send me down a spiral of anxiety that would have in the past lasted for weeks, if not months.


Now I am ready to shed more of what is not serving me, and get in touch with a part of me that has always been there, but that I hadn’t been able to tap into yet.


And so my inner journey continues.


And along the way, I feel privileged to be able to share it with you and even guide some of you through your own inner discovery.


And if you feel a little lost along the way, the best thing to do is to find a trusted and safe support to help you navigate your inner challenges. And here are several ways I can help you:


  • Access my free 5 part email series ‘5 ways to reclaim your inner wisdom’ to help you sidestep the common mistakes people make that keeps them stuck in anxiety

  • From relationship anxiety to clarity – my 6 months group coaching container launching soon – drop me a line to make sure to be the first to know when doors open

  • My 1:1 coaching programme to help you overcome relationship anxiety and gain clarity, confidence and connection within and in your relationship. Apply here.






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